Friday, December 15, 2006
Shiiiiiiiiiiiii...........Xinnnnnnnn........huiiiiii..............!!!!! >_- chiiiioooooo si le!!!!! LOLZ :P
aww..i cant go her autograph session :( ...kk... going to slp le sia,tis few days veri busy to blog,next time off jiu blog k...
hope ppl enjoy the song : )
tata!
luminous ended at 1.05am :D
12/15/2006 12:46:00 AM
Friday, December 08, 2006
hii :D
i changed my blog song again =.='' boliaoz mahs
:P.. hmm tis song,is a song by zhang zhi cheng!title is QUAN YU.. my com doesnt recognise chinese..thus i translate myself into angmoh..hahah dun giggle at my F9 eng k!! :)
hmm..there's sm tin i wish to clarify..and there's a reason for me to put tis song in my blog..i believe..there's always a reason or purpose for evtin i do...and there is onli one reason to put tis song QUAN YU... ...becuz..i felt tat..i had revitalised! :D ...i admit tat its not fully yet...not totally..but i'm forgetting u!which bodes a good sign! :D
..during all tis while..i muz admit,i put on a mask..SK 2 de facial mask LOLZ..no la,a mask indeed..frens c me smiles,giggle,i blog also machiam happi kuai le go lucky,but..i hid my trueself,deep within my heart...u all cant c how i behave..at home..a completely changed person...i'm not crapping here or wat..i juz wish to be trueful,n take down my mask..
YES..i'm greatly hurt aft broke up..of cuz,i'm hurt..whu wldn??its not a decision i wanted to made..i wish..we could last..but i dun hav the chance :( so i made tat fateful decision..frm tat day on,i live wit pain,hurts n work work work...to numb myself..frm tinking of u...but tat job,onli last me for 4days..aft the work,wat do i do? ..i rot at home...ev min,ev sec,i dunno wat to do..i can c tat,u r living life wit happiness,frens n love..
12/08/2006 11:31:00 AM
But..i realli dunno wat to do..complaining to my parents..tat i will go crazy..if i continues to stay at home..my dad..my mum..my er jie..they..suffer under me..i'm juz like a beggar..rotting at home,waiting for 11dec2006 to come,so tat i can start working to numb myself again..but..but.. i shouted at my dad,made my mum blood boils,n quarrel wit my er jie..wtf...y has TAN TECK LEONG transform into tis ''creature''?i dun uds y...i couldn find myself..i'm juz like a person,lost in a strange domain,where i cant even c the image of myself :(
Until ytd,i wanted to change :D i wanted to find meaning in evtin i do again!i wanted to be the old me,when i used to be veri happi :D even when i hav no frens nor love!!!!!...perhaps ppl tin i'm braggin n blog like a nuts...but..ev single words here,came directly frm the bottom of my borken heart (hmm...a song name ? :P )hahahass..
then...ytd,i decided to exercise in the morning..omg...i realli aged alotx ler.. :x i run..staring blankly at the tracks..and i do workouts...while i was doing sit ups,my third set of twentys,it takes me one song, one single song to realli discover tat,i hav wasted these few days of mine......and how wicked i had treated my parents...and my er jie....
that song is QUAN YU...
as i lied down on the sit up platform,i watched the tree,shedding its leaves,one by one,frm its stem,to the ground.. :D its not a image which one wld c evday...i mean in such a beautiful way larr..then,i stopped evtin i do,n really reflects on the tins i do.....WAT THE HELL... :P i nearly vomit blood k!i cant imagine i had becm such a sucker.....juz becuz of love failure,i hurt the ones i love n treasure the most,whom are my true FAMILY???
12/08/2006 11:09:00 AM
OMG...then..the song describe wat love heals the person..but i love the word,QUAN YU...it means tat...i can recover..frm my failure...n frm my recovery,i picked up myself again,n find a meaning in evtin i do :D !!!
i...T_T'' i ...i dunno...i juz had the urge to shed a tear...but i din,if not the uncles there tin i kisiao,do sit ups until cry :P i felt so great...its like sort of enlighten..after so long =.=''
then i watched the leaves felling down...wit the song playing n the wind blewing ....
FINAlly..i can at least declared confidently tat now,i wanted to change! :D i can change like how i used to be...going out alone,witout frens also OK :D helping the needys and smiling evday,making my family happy wit jokes and my playfulness :D :D :D :D :D :) hahahahahha whahahahha...
AR Bo when i tin of u,i slap myself hard so to slap u away frm my memories lorr :) heheh tis is the way to let u vanish away frm my brain...i muz pick myself up,though i nod,its veri tough..i hav never been in love so deep b4..but i wanted to try!! hahaha :) the old me shall be back :P
ok!byebye!i'm going to SPCA now to see those ke ai adorable cute cute de dogs,cats,and rabbits!hehe :D
tata !!
luminous ended at 11.40am :D
12/08/2006 10:55:00 AM
Lying down here,how long have it past
Being locked under the white rain
As i forgot whose hand tat is
That used to warm my foredead with warm
Only remembered that i kept shivers...
Shut my eyes yet memories still locked within my heart
Causing breath taking with difficulty
Suddenly,i discovered ur hand
That can give me the familiar warm
Which is the warm i'm seeking for...
Smiling just like that day
I saw clips of you
You are the one i'm living for
But for now,everything has changed..
It's you whom shower love into my heart
As i slowly recovers
Bringing back the smiles manifested tat day
I saw clips of you
You are the one who used to remind me,to treasure ev mins n secs
But the weather cannot be assured
But loving you allows me to revive
And i finally recovers..
recovers...........
12/08/2006 10:51:00 AM
Thursday, December 07, 2006
....tis was the email i had gone thru times n times again..
i read tis letter,evtime i was online... :( i was wondering....y..y could ppl be so cruel to abort babies?or i shall say....foetus??...yes,perhaps u r experiencing money problems,love problems or mental stress,but how could a person bring herself to kill the foetus?the onli living element tat hav not even see the slightest sunlight,n bring u infinite amt of happiness n bliss????
there are alot more gruesome pics..poor babies being cut into half... :( veri sad...its a email my sis sent me...for now,i can assure everyone here tat,even if next time,how much pain n sufferings..i am going thru or my wife is.............i wouldn allow,NOT EVEN ALLOW my future wife to abort my precious baby!!! :( no matter how much sufferings i am to experience...i will not make any killings..... :(
nites...
luminous ended at 1.12am
12/07/2006 01:05:00 AM
A LETTER OF AN ABORTED BABY TO HIS MUM :(
Dear Mommy,
I am in Heaven now, sitting on God's lap.
He loves me and cries with me; for my heart has been broken.
I so wanted to be your little girl.
I don't quite understand what hashappened.
I was so excited when I began realizing my existence.
I was in a dark, yet comfortable place.
I saw I had fingers and toes.
I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave mysurroundings.
I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.
Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me.
Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you.
12/07/2006 12:47:00 AM
Sometimes you would yellor scream, then cry.
I heard Daddy yelling back.
I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon.
I wondered why you cried so much.
One day you cried almost all of the day.
I hurt for you.
I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy.
That same day, the most horrible thing happened. A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in.
I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me.
Maybe you never heard me.
The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming,"Mommy, Mommy, help me please; Mommy, help me."
Complete terror is all I felt.I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore.
12/07/2006 12:46:00 AM
Then the monster started ripping my arms off.
It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain.
It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop.
I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off.
Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying.I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me...............
I wanted to make all your tears go away.
I had so many plans to make you happy.
Now I couldn't; all my dreams were shattered.
Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heartbreaking, above all.I wanted more than anything to be your daughter.
No use now, for I was dying a painful death.
I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you.
I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't knowthe words you could understand.
And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead.I felt myself rising.
I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place.
I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone.
The angel took me to God and set me on His lap.He said He loved me, and He was my Father.
12/07/2006 12:11:00 AM
Then I was happy.
I asked Him what the thing was that killed me.
He answered, "Abortion.I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels."
I don't know what abortion is;I guess that's the name of the monster.
I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to beyour little girl.
I tried very hard to live.
I wanted to live.
I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful.
It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me.
It was impossibleto live.
I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you.
I didn't want to die.
Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster.
Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did.
Please be careful.
Love,Your Baby Girl
12/07/2006 12:08:00 AM
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
YO! :D
hhi ppl!!...tis blog is stil active okies...haha disappear so long not becuz i go KOREA horr :X
its i go work wit jinjin as furniture mover...
awwwww.......
$5 per hr,11am till 11pm frm 29/12/06 till 3/12/06...LMAO!! psstt..me n jinjin skip work on 1 day =.='' hmm...then today went to collect salary $_$ ...so long nv touch money le!!! :)
then b4 i talk abt wat happen during work,aiya,change blogskin...was so tedious.. =.='' i juz love the luminous [hey!my nick! LMAO...] green the board has for entries,thus i eliminated tat HEBE blogskin :( sad but nvm,my desktop wallpaper,is miss HEBE sweet sweet grin,smiling asking me to eat her up :P hahah juz jk... :) anyway,tagboard accidentally deleted!! :( oops..gone..tag kk :) hehe n tis green horr,is actually good for ur eyesight!!!! haha for those whu wear spectacles like me,oh man...shag rite?
hmm..SOLUTION!! :P
when come to my blog,take off ur spec n bring ur face nearer..but nt so near la to ur monitor..n read my entries la...hahah cuz those ah pek ah mm say b4,told me to go downstair c green grass in the moring then can reduce degrees,y not c my blog ..in the morning??hahahah lalalalla..juz promoting :P
ahahah hmm so bored nw,here i goes!
12/05/2006 04:47:00 AM
29/11/06
Went to angmokio job hunting wit kelly aiwee jinjin.... we go so many places...polar ah..cinema...popular...hangten...sportslink..kbox...LOLZ..despo for jobs..end up we go buy straits time,start calling n found 1 job to interview at RAFFLES PLACE!! :D so happi!but there write furniture mover sia........dunno the 2 zha bors can or not...
so we head down n mit at BK..end up me n jinjin can work nia,cuz they onli wan guys :P haha then we follow tis boss call wat JERRy..lmao..tom & jerry ah ?he sure has a mouse face :P hahah hmm.then..work from 7.30pm to 2.30am.. kao!so many malays and bangalas...then we like blur blur..but got used to the heavy furnitures later.. :D its tough...but not so bad..nightmares began on the 2nd day! end up we go hm in cab provided by boss at 2.30am.. $35 earned!
30/11/06
OMFG!!!we report work at 11am...the moment we stepped in,he told us to cleared those big big panels at the 3rd floor office!! ni na beh knn... =.='' so we started working like a bull..jinjin so damm lei..i kana heavy flu..haiz..then go lau pat sa eat lunch :D the last time i go there was like 5yrs again! :P aft tat work worK WORK!!
piang pian piang untill 3.30am!!jinjin 11pm skieve off le..lolz cuz he lei n tell boss he hav to go hm..hmm then i stay on for $$!!!!!so damm tired!moving those gigantic furnitures =.='' =.='' and metal parts!!...nv, $80 earned!
12/05/2006 04:41:00 AM
1/12/06
stressed...tired n weak...jinjin n i ponteng...nv go work today... :P i slept frm 5am till 5pm...hahaha 12hrs!so damm tired..brusies here n there..now i REALLY nod,how hard my dad work to support us :( haiz...
2/12/06
hmm..start work at 2pm...b4 tat cant find the new location,i call the boss,then he kan me...ask me dun ask stupid q...QB..then i dulan,n scold him fuck u n hang plus alot vulgarities.... :P angry mahs...then later he say so it was u dunno the place ahh..hhaa fuck him la tat jerry mice....
then we start work v. v. V. hard all the way til 6am!!!!!!!!!! man...so shag...if evday like tat sure die veri early de...but for $$! i will do it!! hahaahha $80 earned!!!
3/12/06
i go alone work at 3pm till 6pm sia...jinjin tired,then i onli earned $15 bucks...realli...cant tahan le...hav to go home early...wit the chinese frens :( pain sia my hand...
12/05/2006 04:33:00 AM
4/12/06
hmm..i realli v. scare tis jerry mice will cheat me $$$$$....so we mit up wit the malays to bendemeer rd,to collect our $$...on my way there,was tinking pls god...dun let tat jerry mice cheat me!! i realli need $$!!
hahah then when we reached outside,i saw the big big warehse...n i was relieved sia... >_<'' cuz he couldn be a cheater then...lolz.. hmm end up in total,i earned $200 in 4days! not bad le lorr!! hahahaha but will use them to pay ws di! :P and my bills...
then we mti up wit aiwee kelly ali jesline...go bugis eat dou hua...oh man...today i veri guai lan >_<'' maybe too happi got so much $$ or wat...i suan suan ali til he dulan alight bus..haiz...i veri bad sia...make aiwee shouted n kelly also du lan..piang...today i sway sia..so in the later part..i kept my mouth shut.. :X
haiz..maybe...clips of u..kept recurring to me...thus i mixed up my mood... >_<'' .......i can...n i will forget u!juz giv me time!i wont love a person whu dun love me :) hmm then we went home...hahah til nw,i use com lorr...hahah so bored n tired ler...signing off!! tata!
luminous ended at 5.04am :D
12/05/2006 04:15:00 AM
